Vocal Silence

I always enjoyed being a spectator of my life. It wasn't something inherent I had, this ability to watch from the sidelines, but it was carefully cultivated with gentle ministration of faith in the Superior. But sometimes I wonder if it is carelessness, selfishness that makes me so calm in all turmoils because I don't share anyone's pain? Have I grown to be cold hearted? Or maybe my parents are shielding me from all the heartache by absorbing it all for their own? I don't like this existence where everyone is fighting so furiously against fate but I stand still, meeting it like a welcome friend despite the grave news it bears. Tell me is it faith or carelessness because I want to know?

How do you define anger in colours, For my anger is blind? My anger is a prison for my tears, So it is a cocoon of insensitivity That chooses to undermine my fears, My hurt. My anger is blind. It was pruned to be so With incessant jabs to my inner self. I was picked on, bullied And crying was a sure way to invite more fingers to myself. So I learnt to lock my lips such that not a sigh escapes. I fixed my eyes on a wall ahead, Unblinkingly, so that the dozen tears swimming in my eyes did not catch light. And even then I failed. I was called a wimp, A cry baby, A pussy. And all these became words I began to loathe. So I switched to anger, Angry exhibition of my inner self! I screamed so that no one picks up the tremor in my voice. I screamed and shouted, And my wide eyes became an expression of fury and disrespect. At least I was no longer a wimp, A cry baby, A pussy. Till this day I cannot decide, whether being disrespectful, rude and temperate are any better words. My anger is blind. I...

I am so sad to see the state of parents nowadays. The disrespect that they face from their children is so heart crushing but it's more tormenting to see other parents laugh at this mistreatment, unbeknownst, that somewhere in the unconscious of the child's mind they are encouraging this very disrespectful behavior towards themselves in their old age. It's pathetic how these parents laugh on the tragedy of fellow parents rather than mourning the plight all the parents are facing in near future and working towards averting it.

Joy! Rapture! The deep feeling in your stomach that makes you restless yet you do not want to be bereft of it. I don't know whether it's just to call this feeling fireworks for I don't know if I would enjoy the feeling of miniature rockets going off in my stomach but I sure enjoy this feeling. I latch onto it with the tenacity of a child for whom his parents are entirely capable of fulfilling his every demand and thus he staunchly demands his wishes until they attain fulfillment. People say "this" is a blessing and "that" is a blessing, Absolute wealth is a blessing or an uncompromised health is a blessing. Commanding respect is the absolute pinnacle of blessing, or garnering love is it. What one always fails to point out is that being able to "feel joy" is a blessing and there can be no arguments about it. I have seen people with immeasurable wealth look with yearning at succulent desserts that their money could afford yet their body could n...

Today I went to a place where just a month ago there was a death or it will be fit to say martyrdom. People greeted us like they always do, with a smile. There was laughter when after a long dua, the daughter of the deceased added that may all the students get good results. There was cordial banter and yet there was a lingering silence. A powerful one . Maybe the voices around me were hushed though I know they weren't, but that's the only reason that can make sense of that heavy stillness that laid around me. For long I waited for him to appear, with that contented smile that always graced his face. I was left waiting. The only relieve from it was when his son walked in; his eldest son. For a moment it felt like it was him . He looked exactly like his father. The way he sat, the way he dressed and the way his eyes seemed to look far beyond what was present and clear. He was just a little more youthful, not ridden with the many diseases that had housed t...

For years, the whole momentousness of growing up could be aptly encapsulated in having a "Grand Birthday Celebration." Never in all those years of careless juniority, had we ever conjectured that one day we will HAVE to shed this skin of laxity and frivolousness and don on our roles of responsible adult. Never in our far-fetched imaginations had we anticipated that the day that we step out of our schools, we will start bearing the weight of our decisions. After all, how could have one ever perceived that in one day the bearings on our compass of life would change. When for years, our parents had been the North star for us, just in a day, we would become the Sun of our livelihood. This idea of growing up always sounded so dubious as if it was extracted right out of  fairy tales , a product of errant imagination. Really! When eighteen years of our lives washed away without any gravity except maybe a slight change in school curriculum, how could one more day of our life...

"It is only by following your deepest instinct that you can lead a rich life, and if you let your fear of consequence prevent you from following your deepest instinct, then your life will be safe, expedient and thin." Katharine Butler Hathaway And while one may wish for a safe and expedient life, a thin life would leave you discontented and regretful. I absolutely like how the writer has paired the words safe, expedient and thin as if they possess the same connotation and belong to the same semantic field for it gives the impression that these three things are inseparable and one cannot possibly luxuriate in a safe and expedient life without being subjected to a thin existence.

Sympathy : the feeling that you care about and are sorry about someone else's trouble, grief, misfortune, etc. That's the definition of sympathy we are most familiar with and the one we often denote with the world's usage. It arises out of a feeling of superiority over the other, considering the other less privileged, and unfortunate. How often would you use that word to describe your relation with somebody, especially a friend? Can friendship ever be a product of sympathy? Can you ever befriend somebody that you consider pathetic in their inferiority? I guess not! Friendship is a commute of two amicable souls, where both appreciate and acknowledge the worth of other in their bond. Friendship is a divine bestowal that aids you on the path of self discovery, for your friend will always be your biggest critic, condemning your wrongs and appraising your rights. Friend ship is the basis of all other relations: a mother and her child's; a wedded couple; ...

                                "There isn't anything romantic about death." Death. The ever-looming noose just around your neck, just awaiting the right time to tighten around you. Death is an unrelenting monster. You may escape the clutches of love but you can never beguile death. W e seek love, death seeks us. Sometimes, your parents would fail to make sense out of your tragedies and theirs, but that does not mean tragedies are senseless and in your grievous moments, never think life is meaningless. Its upon us to make sense out of the tangled loom of thread. Pass the thread through the nook of the needle, and sew your own stories on the complicated web of time. Never for the briefest second, undermine the importance of your existence for you exist for a reason and that reason is not "to be shunned." If your elders ever give you that reason tell them no actor steps onto the stage without a role an...

I used to wonder what love would look like But now I know. It surely looks like a baby wrapped in white cloth, With only his little round head bobbing out; And with slight, squirmy movements, Also a tiny little hand, clenched into a fist. Love looks like this parcel, Sent straight from the Heaven, by the will of God. Love looks like random colours: Orange, blue, red and purple, Hanging loosely on gangly limbs. And love sounds like the cries of a baby boy, When he asks for love and attention Through the only means he knows.: Milk and a change of clothes. Love is the sparsely haired head, That is cradled with utmost delicacy. It smells like Johnson's baby lotion, As its fragrance lingers on your fingertips long after you have touched the little boy. It is the wraith of a crawling baby, And a toddling future, A paint splattered page, And one small shoe lying on the floor. Its the promises of candies before teeth have ever grown, and its the interchange of hu...

Hypocrisy. Two faces of a man. Deceit and ultimately the unveiling of the truth to reveal the dubious being within, which is unworthy of trust and respect. I have seen people speak eloquently about respect, acclaim the virtue of doing so and yet i have observed them treat the world around them as nothing but vain, where each next person is a stranger who commands hostility. Its mind boggling how varying the conduct of man is from his words, the gulf between his deeds and his sayings as if embalming words can soothe the wounds caused by his misdeeds, ride over his history of atrociousness. If you are among those hypocrites, (which I hope you're not), wake up, for this world is the lifting of shrouds for the revelation of truth and one day I will look through this phony righteousness that you have donned as a mask, and that day I will dislike you all the more for I will be privy to the contrast between what a great person you could have have been if you had been accountable to your...

Every so often you meet someone wary of being tested for the fear of failure. That is what education has been reduced to nowadays where your worth is certified by a piece of paper stamped by an organisation that stamped many such papers in the blink of an eye. When the organisation that defined your credibility did not look at your name twice before stacking all the certificates, quantifying your achievement with hundred others, declaring that 18% candidates scored an A, why do you attach so much importance to these grades. These examinations you appear for are a commercial venture for the examiner, so why have they become a matter of life and death for you? I have seen students determine their career course on the basis of their capability rather than their passion and I wouldn't deny that these children fare well for a while but what about in the long run? In the present your choices will boost your self confidence when you score an A* in science, cause you rote memorized the c...

I am a fallen warrior; I am a lost battle; I am the distraught-ed dreams; And the dismantled courage; I am broken beyond repair; I am alone and in pain; I am the forgotten lessons of patience and strength; I am a tired old man seeing his field rot away; I am the extinguished flame of hope; I am stuck all alone. Don't be surprised 'cause it happens! "Kites fly highest against the wind" But sometimes the wind hurls you down Or pushes a hole through your soul, And like a referee in a boxing ring It then pounds the land around your form But you lie defeated. The world will ask you why The world will dismiss it as just one more unfortunate card from life But I have seen the whole stack. I have held onto my dreams for too long, To my eccentricities. Taken each criticism for a compliment But no more! I am defeated! Now try and push me down but let me tell you, I am at the lowest base of all. You can only make me roll away with you, And mould me into one more urn, sittin...